Radical self-love happens when we embrace and nurture every part of ourselves, inside and out, without judgment. Knowing you were born worthy, that you are enough, and despite your past, you choose to accept yourself as you are, right here and now. When you practice radical self-love, you recognize that thoughts and behaviors do not define you. If self-judgment comes in, this is where you can give yourself permission to let them be, get curious, and love them because they are a part of you. Here is where you can set yourself free from codependent behaviors, relationships, or counterproductive coping mechanisms - like our cell phones - acknowledge and make space for whatever comes up throughout our day. This way, we create a more compassionate lens for ourselves and the people in our lives. We stop seeing other people's actions as an affront and can allow them space on their own journey to self-discovery.
Working toward self-love is necessary to achieve peace, positive change, and happiness in life. Wherever you are on your journey, here are a few tools to help you begin practicing radical self-love.
Be Present With Emotions, Thoughts, and Feelings
Radical self-love does not exist without radical acceptance. Accept the human experience for what it is: an unpredictable storm of emotional ups, downs. It is normal to experience thoughts, feelings and emotions that don't feel good. But when we push these feelings down or fuel the fire of negativity by judging these feelings as something "bad" it can quickly spiral. Instead of resisting the uncomfortable feeling that may arise, simply acknowledge that it's there. "I am having the feeling of fear, anger, sadness," or whatever it may be. Your feelings are not bad or wrong. When they come up, they are often asking for your attention.
This is the first step to keep yourself from spinning out or losing the battle with your inner critic.
Acknowledge the behavior, then choose your route. Instead of labeling a "bad day" full of "negative" emotions or experiences, perhaps it was a day when something changed your course and created an opportunity for you to stand in your power. We are the creator of our reality. We can choose to change the narrative. I’m not telling you to dismiss negative feelings or triggers from the past; that only bottles it up. Facing and embracing all emotions without judgment helps navigate difficult moments. Be okay with not being ok and sit with it. When you sit and acknowledge, you get through it. Practice sitting and being present with the good, the bad, and sideways feelings. And don't forget to suspend judgment!
Be you
You can’t fake authenticity. Stop the filters, don’t compare, and be unapologetically YOU! Learn to love every piece of your body; its folds, skin, cellulite, muscles, wrinkles, everything! It serves and takes care of you every day, so it definitely deserves your love and respect. A simple practice you can start is to write down three things each day that you are grateful for about yourself. It can be anything! Here, I'll start: I love my quirky sense of humor, long hair, big heart, and love for adventures. See, I even wrote four! What you appreciate, appreciates, so keep going, and you’ll find it gets easier to see more things you absolutely adore about yourself.
Build your environment
Your vibe attracts your tribe. We will always accept love from people that match us where we are. If our radical self-love gets stopped by insecurity, conditions, and judgment, then those are the types of people who will make their way to your doorstep. We gravitate to what’s comfortable and familiar, even if it isn't always good for us. But when we love ourselves radically, we naturally stop accepting anything in our work/social/personal lives that don’t match that energy. With radical self-love things, people and situations begin to show up that reflect our core values.
Take an assessment of who and what’s around you. What messages are you hearing from people, businesses, surroundings, or even your music? Does it build you up or give rise to negative emotions? Then think about the life you want to lead, the feelings you want to have, and what brings you the most joy and peace. Are those in alignment with our choices? We take on the negative or positive energy that’s around us. Take note of what builds you up, supports your radical self-love journey, and unapologetically get rid of the negative junk.
Self-Care is Essential To Practicing Radical Self-Love
We are what we eat. Our bodies are constantly rebuilding every cell inside us. The body you had last year is not the same as the body you have this year. For example, every skin cell is regenerated every two to four weeks. Cells in your stomach rebuild after five days. Our body rebuilds off of proteins, fats, and nutrients we put into our bodies. Not to mention 95% of our serotonin (that good feeling neurotransmitter) is made in the gut. The quality of our diet can largely impact this.
What we eat impacts how we feel both mentally and physically. Eating a balanced diet that includes quality proteins at each meal, a high amount of vegetables and fruit (think 5 cups minimum), and adequate fluid is essential to the road to radical self-love.
Check out any Designer Protein powders for an easy and delicious source of protein that you can fit in your active radical self-love lifestyle. All of Designer Protein’s protein powders were made with quality in mind. The proteins used in our powders are easily absorbed and free of artificial ingredients promoting the healthy balance your body needs to fuel your radical self-love journey.
Be Your Own Hero
Constantly looking outward for happiness, support, and peace will always lead to disappointment. The day you learn to release your codependency by looking outward for validation and love to focus inward is the day you’ll experience true freedom.
We know it's easier said than done. Find whatever resonates for you. It may be spending time alone, taking a few deep breaths, hiking, traveling, meditating, reading (some of my favorite books are below!), writing in a gratitude journal, or simply taking a moment to reset. A huge key to being your own hero is acknowledging where you are in your journey. Everyone has their own story, battle scars, triggers, emotions, and behaviors. Even our parents have their journey. Looking inward for love, happiness, and support will put you in the driver's seat on the road to becoming your own hero.
Reframe your self-talk
Before we can shift to radical self-love, we have to change how we think and speak to ourselves. Anyone can point out flaws rather than something that supports self-love and power. Remember how we talked about acknowledging the thoughts and emotions that come up? Now, is where we put it into practice by catching any negative self-talk, reframing it into something that supports your self-growth.
Write down negative messages you often say to yourself in a journal. Next to it, rewrite a positive alternative or something you appreciate about yourself. This practice can slowly change the narrative in your daily story to support radical self-love.
Live on the edge
Nothing ever changes when we stay in our comfort zone. Living on the edge of your comfort zone supports growth. Just like when we strength train. If we constantly do the same exercise with the same weight every time, we never get stronger. Strength train your life by seeking opportunities to push through the awkwardness and out of your comfort zone.
Bottom Line
The simple act of making a gratitude list, getting rid of junk, speaking authentically, letting in positive people and experiences, trying new nourishing recipes, or posting an unfiltered picture may feel uncomfortable at first, but this is where you’ll get stronger in your power and radical self- love.
Remember it’s one day or day one. You decide. Embracing radical self-love doesn’t have to be complicated. If one of these suggestions resonates with you try it out for 21 days. And watch the positive radical changes you will see.
By Ginger Cochran, MS, RDN, CPE, CDCES
Check out these other great sources I personally love to help you on your journey inward to radical self-love and care
Radical Self Love Books
Book: May Cause Miracles By Gabrielle Berstein
Book: Be, By Jessica Zweig
Book: Believe It, By Jamie Kern Lima
Book: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, By Dr. Wayne Dyer
Book: My Body is Not An Apology- The Power of Radical-Self Love, Sonya Rene Taylor
Book: Becoming Supernatural, By Joe Dispenza
""practicing radical self love"
Sources:
How stuff works: Cellular & Microscopic Biology
American Psychological Association: That Gut Feeling
